Lady off to China

Why me?

Is there a "Talk to Me" sign on written on my forehead in invisible ink?  I feel like there must be.

There I was, quietly sitting at a table in Dunkin Donuts, trying to enjoy my coffee and minding my own business, when a lonely-looking lady sits down with two cups of coffee.  She turns to me and says, "oh, are you waiting for someone?"

I smile politely and finish the sip of coffee that I just took, and respond that my friend works behind the counter and I'm just waiting for the line to die down so that we can talk again.  She says "that's nice" and tells me that she thinks I might work there, based on how I was dressed.  I say I just came from work, at a coffee shop, and that might explain things when she says that she knows where I work and starts sharing her. entire. life. story.

Some of the topics that she covered were:
*Her Philosophy group leader recovering from "cervical" tumor surgery on his neck.  (OMFG she said Cervical as opposed to Cerebral?)
*His recovery time, 3 months
*His daughter's not realizing how sick he really was
*Now Philosophy teacher holds down a job and a 1/2. (literally)
*She got a mani/pedi (by two different nail salons) because she has graduations tomorrow
*She finally went to the doctor about weight loss, and he put her on a diet
*It took her 2 years to get to this doctor
*She walks her dog a little longer these days.
*She lost 3lbs this week
*She's only been dieting for a week
*She already misses Ice Cream
*The only reason she went is because her mother (who is probably ancient) told her she'd take her to China and she is going to climb the great wall of China
*She will climb the great wall of China on September 2nd, 2011
*That is, if the world doesn't end on May 21st, 2011
*And she manages to clean her hourse
*Her "real" friends don't seem to mind a messy house, but they suggest that she have someone come in once a month to "dust"

This is the point where I called for reinforcements... aka... Leina. I expected crazy lady to start suggesting maybe I come over and help her, maybe get sucked into her dusty lair-o-doom and never get out.  This terrified me, and I needed to remove myself from the situation.  Thankfully, just ignoring her for approximately 3 minutes while she stared at me and begged me to continue our conversation finally threw her off her fucking creeptacular game.

So, again, I say... Why me?