Wednesday, January 25, 2012

What the Bleep.

Kids, what the BLEEP is going on around here?


I have been completely out of sorts for the last month, I realize, but that does not give Blogger the right to go around changing their layout and shit.... That's just rude!  I mean, honestly.


I will concede, maybe it's me, but I don't think so.  I did have to break up with Google Chrome becauase it was fucking around on the side.  Everyday A knows exactly what I mean because she dated Google Chrome before me.  You can read about their breakup here. 


Anywho -- I thought that I was going to make some things happen in my life and shake things up a bit, but you know what they say about plans, right? If not, well... if you want to see God laugh, tell him your plans.  Two weeks ago I applied for a more-than-part-time but less-than-full-time position in Peabody, Massachusetts at the bank.  I have pretty much decided that I'm over the tri-state area, and was getting ready to start my life somewhere else.  I went so far as to apply, contact the manager of the branch, and set up a skype interview.  I was pretty much a phone call away from packing up my entire life and moving out on my own, when all of a sudden the new kid up and quit saying he had to "go back to Equador" or something like that...


So... between someone being fired (which sucked bigtime b/c I love her) and the new kid quitting (which I'm not too broken up over)... they had a few hours to smush together and offer me a full time position! HOORAY!  For those of you who have been keeping up with my tragic employment-life this past year, you will know that this is my first full-time job since I was laid off Last April. 


Finally, I am starting to feel like a productive member of society again!  Even better, I don't *have* to work at Mystery, Inc. anymore... I can work there because I CHOOSE to...


::sighs of relief and high fives everywhere:::

Props to me, Peeps... and here's to hoping for more good things to come.

PS. I've missed you guys... Sorry I disappeared for a while... I seemed to have lost myself... but I think I'm finally coming back. <3

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Family Secrets

Family Secrets

I came down the stairs covered in sweat and dust bunnies.  Cleaning out the attic is never pleasant, but more unpleasant is when you offer yourself to your grandmother in a moment of familial guilt at the weekly Friday Night Dinner.
 There I was, sitting in at the dining room table after just consuming what some would consider a feast, but my family just considers ‘dinner’, when grandma all of a sudden mentions how she’d like to clean out the attic.  The whole family nodded their heads in agreement, all acknowledging that that would be a great idea.  What I didn’t notice is one by one everyone made excuses in order to get away from the table and out of Grandma’s line of sight.  I was obviously not prepared for this, which is why it’s the next day and I’ve found myself cleaning on a Saturday morning when I’d rather be doing anything else.
The kitchen smelled of chocolate chip pancakes; Grandma’s “I know I suckered you into this project, so I’m at least going to feed you something yummy and hope that you don’t hate me for this.”  I tried to dust myself off a little before I crossed the threshold, but I’m sure it was a futile attempt.  “Grandma,’ I said, as I walked in and sat at the table, clutching an old piece of paper in my left hand, out of her eye line. 
“Yes, dear,” she said as she flipped a pancake on the griddle.  She turned to look at me, since I paused a moment to think about what I wanted to say, rather than blurt out something accusatory and/or stupid.  She prompted me again.  “What is it you wanted?”
“I came across this in map in the attic along with your photo albums from when you and grandpa were first married.  It’s in another language.  Do you understand it?”  I hoped that posing my inquisitions in an innocent way would engage her into telling me the story without actually forcing her to do it.  At first, though, I thought I’d blown it, because she turned back toward the stove, let her head hang down a little, and stayed silent for longer than I was comfortable with.
Just as I was about to say something apologetic and banish myself back to the attic, she started to speak.  It was low at first, almost like she wasn’t speaking to me, but mumbling to herself. I strained to hear her, sure that she wouldn’t continue if I asked her to repeat herself. 
“That map… that ‘treasure’ map,’ she scoffed.  “If I had known what that ‘treasure map’ had in store for us, I might not have married your Grandfather.  You know we found that map on our honeymoon?”  She finally turned to acknowledge that I was still sitting there.  Of course I was still there; I was hanging on her every word.
“What you don’t know is that your Grandfather and I were considered an arranged marriage.  We knew of each other; our families were the best of friends, an extended family of sorts.  Back in Sicily, it was normal to arrange a marriage for a child, to insure that your line would continue and you’d know the sort of people you were getting into bed with, no pun intended.  Our marriage was arranged with the idea that Marcello and I would link the families together to create a stronghold of our properties, intimidate the neighbors, that sort of thing.”
These were the lines said in movies!  Why was my grandmother telling me stories that correlate to the God Father?
“We went to Spain on our honeymoon.  It was so beautiful, but, bella, we didn’t really leave the hotel for two days!  Finally on the third day, I told your grandfather that we needed to go out and do touristy things or I was going to make the first year of our marriage a nightmare.  He didn’t need much more convincing than that, so we went out and took in the sights.  When we came back, there was this map left on the desk in our room.”  She shook her head, like she was trying to clear the clouds that fifty years had given her.
The clock struck eleven and the sound of my grandfather’s truck could be heard pulling in the driveway.  She turned her head toward the front of the house and a hint of a smile curled upon her lips. 
“This is a story for another time, love.  Your grandfather’s home.  Mind you be getting back up stairs, and put that back where you found it, okay?”
I made my way up the stairs wondering just what kind of life my grandmother had lived before we existed.
***
Thanks for reading everyone!

My Indie Ink Challenge Prompt was dilvered to me by Melissa Brodsky.  "You find an old treasure map locked away in your grandparents’ attic."  In turn, I challenged Crosshavenharpist with what she would do after she robbed a bank. 

Monday, January 9, 2012

This is not a post... Again

Peeps...

I have officially survived a year cigarette free!

It still sucks, but HOORAY!

That is all.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

All Part of the Plan

"All Part of the Plan"

It was just after dusk and I was cold.  I knew I should be scared, but I couldn’t stop noticing how beautiful the swirling police lights looked as they caught the falling snow.  Have you ever felt that way? Knowing you should be feeling one way, but unable to help yourself from feeling another certain type of way? I’m sure you have.  Haven’t we all?  The officer is going on and on to me about something, but I just can’t focus on his monotone drivel when Mother Nature’s beauty is falling all over the place. The snowflakes aren’t just flecks of frozen water; they’re becoming part of me.  Each one that falls and lands along my skin becomes a link in the armor, the armor I wear to protect me against the cold, hard realism forced upon me by those who haven’t embraced the Earth’s love.  They’re missing out on a beautiful world, a world that they’re blowing right by. 
***
It was just after dusk and I was cold.  Working overtime holds no appeal for me, but my wife enjoys the payout, as most women do.  I’m exhausted, I haven’t had time to breathe, let alone take care of all the human necessities, if you know what I mean.  Do you know what I mean? Have you ever felt that way? 

Here I am, just trying to keep myself straight and keep my life in order for my family, and I’ve got nothing to show for it but being overworked and under paid.  I’m tired, and I’m stuck here babysittin’ this whiteboy, high as a kite, whose ass I’ve got parked on the curb while I wait for back up.  I haven’t had time for a real meal, a shower that lasted longer than four minutes, or some quality time with my wife in God knows how long, though I’m sure she wouldn’t be too receptive to that idea anyway.  Women.  Can’t live with ‘em, ain’t that what they say? Ah, well.
***
It was just after dusk and they were cold.  Unfortunate, really, that they could not see the bigger picture.
Neither of these two understands the ramifications of their actions today, but they are great indeed. 
Here we have a junkie who, had this police officer not stopped him for a moving violation, would have caused a four car accident, killing two children, their parents, and inevitably himself. 
On the other hand, the police officer who, because he put in overtime to support his family, saved a multitude of lives, just by doing the right thing.  Good, too, because it will help him reinforce the promotion coming to him at the end of the month.
Look at the beauty in the world.  Look at all I have created.  The good and the bad, each working in tandem to create a working masterpiece that anyone would be proud to be a part of. 

This is my second week back in the Indie Ink Challege! Yay!

This week my prompt was "I know I should be scared, but I couldn't stop noticing how beautiful the swirling police lights looked as they caught the falling snow", issued by Kurt at Muzzle Diaries.  I was fortunate enough to challenge the wonderful Hannah Pratt at The Oh So Unusual Housewife, who really nailed it with a beautiful poem.  Check them both out!