In the midst of another holiday season, I find myself once again faced with inevitable awkwardness - the dreaded "Where are you going in your life" conversation that always seems to crop up with family and friends that I haven't seen in quite sometime.
Shall I set the scene?
Sitting at the dinner table for Thanksgiving, post-cooking/gathering/buying everything we'll need, but pre-football, dessert, and drinks, I wait for the dreaded questions to ensue. I am not disappointed in my rising anxiety, for a friend turns to me and says, (in that inquisitive way that makes me cringe, knowing that the other person knows exactly what they're doing to you) "So, Val, how's the job hunt coming?". Mentally doing an eye-roll, as I knew this was coming but had yet to formulate a witty and appropriately-self depricating, yet resiliently optimistic response, I quickly take a sip of my drink to stall for time. What am I supposed to say here? Honestly, people don't want to hear the real response that itches to come rolling off my tongue -- they want the previously mentioned witty and optimistic response, not the 'I-can't-even-believe-you-have-to-ask-me-this-because-if-I'd-found-something-everyone-would-know-about-it' answer.
So, I just turn to him, put down my glass, and say something cookie-cutter-ish like, "Oh, you know, I'm working on it. Doesn't seem to be much out there for me, but I'm going to keep trying." I'd like to say something like "Unfortunately, being a snarky, sarcastic, secretly hostile woman with small bursts of compassion rarely gets me anywhere."
What's worse is I know the follow-up question is always, "What is your degree in?" and my answer, English Literature, always prompts people to say, "Oh, so do you want to teach?"
This question makes me want to slam my forehead against a wall.
Everytime.
Not just for the fact that if I was going to teach, I would have recieved my teaching certificate and gone for an education degree, but that I have to go into all the reasons why I either don't want to teach, or the reasons that I am not able to teach at the present time, all while thinking to myself that I might just be the biggest loser on the planet because I could have recieved the teaching certificate and wouldn't have to deal with this had anyone in a guidence position in my life suggest that I might as well complete the requirements for an Education Certificate to have something to fall back on, as opposed to letting me waste college credits taking 2 semesters of Religion, of which I remember nothing.
Thank you, everyone who has ever asked me one or more of these questions, for making me feel like a loser. I guess it adds character, right?
