If I could be a superhero...

It is Indie Ink time again.  I took some time off, but I've really missed being a part of this challenge, and a part of such an awesome group of people...

This week I was challenged by Dili with an awesome prompt that really made me think. You can find it at the bottom.  I, in turn, challenged Sir, whose story about an Oklahoma Biker Bar you can find here. 

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Dear You-Who-Are-Lacking-In-The-Heroics-Department,

Doctor Mary F'ing Sunshine suggested that you write yourself a letter.  She wants you to try and lift yourself up, because "stress can cause mental difficulties to become physical deficiencies" or some bullshit like that. 

Really, I'd rather write her a friggin' letter, and explain to her that the life of a super hero isn't as glamorous as Marvel makes it out to be.  She says, in that nasal-y, disgusting, makes-you-wanna-cover-your-face-with-your-shirt voice that "a life of chaos is not really a life at all."  What does she know?  She wouldn't be complaining if she was the one to call me when her car was hanging off the side of a bridge, would she? No.  She'd be all "Oh, you're my hero!! Marry me! I love you!" to which I'd gag, pretend to cough up some dust, smile, and set her on her merry way.  

So I don't have a legitimate "home".  So I don't have a family here.  So what?!  I have myself, and at the end of the day, that's really all that matters.  I am going to write you this letter because you friggin' deserve a pat on the back.  It's not easy being a super hero.  This life isn't pretty, and not just anyone can do it. 

You. Are. Bad. Ass.  

You really are!  You have to be to put up with the public's shit day after day and night after night, with nothing more than an empty "thank you".  They think you do this all for fun! They think that it is your life's calling to serve them!  Boy, are they wrong.  They are just the catalyst for you to serve your penance.  Little do they know that your picture-perfect-front-page-sparkling-smile is just a facade... little do they know that you actually know what the word facade means!  Smug bastards.  

It's not really your fault that your "powers" are lacking lately. You're tired.  You're overworked and don't get a dime underpaid.  You're getting older.  It'd be nice if someone (Dad) would take some sympathy on you and wipe your slate clean... even prisoners on this planet get time off for good behavior! 

It's okay, though.  You'll survive.  You are meant for great things, and helping these little pissants are just a small part of that.  

So, I say to you, Oh-Amazing-One, take a break.  Use this time as a rest and a recharge, and use it well.  You don't get vacation time.  You don't get sick days.  You don't get bonuses.  You get spit on and laughed at and ridiculed if you can't do something right.  You are loved for a moment, and hated the next.  You can never win with everyone, so win this one for yourself.  Take a deep breath, drink some fuckin' pina coladas, get the hell out of dodge for a while, and relax.

Dr. Sunshine can shove it.  And so can anyone else who doesn't think the sun shines out of your ass.

Love, 

Your Biggest Fan,

Yourself

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My prompt was "a superhero with no superpowers".