La vie de Milo

Indie Ink Time! I love writing for this challenge.  I admit, I sit in anticipation all day Saturday wondering who and what my challenge is going to be... I love it!  I was challenged by Dee, whose prompt will be at the end.  I, in turn, challenged Gehan who will write a story using one of the lines from his favorite song.  Be sure to check out his response.  Anyway, on with the show!

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"La vie de Milo"

The last time we met, I’ll admit, we didn’t meet on such pleasant terms.  In short, I was having a horrible day.  I thought my fun, amazing, adventurous day out was going to be this great thing, but in actuality, it was a disaster.  I was stung by a bee, taken to the vegetarian, and got sick all over a Mini Cooper.  It was horrible. 

Since then, I’ve been re-cooperating at home.  My people have been treating me really nicely, buying me new treats, rubbing my stomach for a while, and keeping the cold air coming out of those gate things in the wall.  That last one is a life-saver let me assure you.  I’ve got a permanent fur coat; it’s not cool -literally.  So, anyway, I’ve been trying to keep a low profile, mainly in hopes the nice treatment from my people will continue, but also because I’m back in Prince Milo mode.

Prince Milo, I really love the sound of that.  It has a certain je n’ai sais quoi. Maybe I was once bred for the royal treatment?  I’d like to think so.  I’d lay upon a pillow, the windows wide open, fresh catnip being left around the room… oh, I forgot, I should keep this PG.  Ex-nay on the catnip-ay.

There was a slight discrepancy in the simple life of yours truly:  invasion.

I know what you’re thinking… Milo, what kind of invasion?! How could this happen to you?  Well, I’ll tell you. It was traumatizing!

Apparently, my people are part of this thing called a “family”.  These strange people who sort of smell like MY people came into my home and invaded my territory!  Bad enough that I have to share with the friggin’ dog, but these people?  Completely unnecessary!

(By the way, the dog and I have been getting along famously… I keep knocking shit over when my people aren’t home, and they keep blaming the dog. Milo +37, Levi - 0.  Sucker.)

Last night, however, these strange smelling people entered into my domain and brought in a spy.  I almost had to have words with my people, but I realized that they’re not nearly on my level, and the conversation would never get anywhere.  However, I could try to rationalize with this gigantic monstrosity that had come in to rule my roost. 

I wanted to kick this intruder out of my dominion, but, alas, my people had closed the front door. 

My dog, my Levi, tried to do the right thing by introducing herself to Enormous, but he was having none of it.  Actually, it was pretty sad to watch, because, unlike me, this new beast wasn’t nearly at all nice to Levi.  He snapped at her when she tried to sniff his butt, which I can only assume is a goodwill gesture of ‘Hello’ in the canine world, as I’ve seen her pull this trick a lot.  (Usually she has better luck with it, though.)

She’s a good dog, and a good companion; we don’t speak the same language, so she’s quiet, and we don’t eat the same food, so she can’t steal from me.  All in all, our relationship is quite balanced.  Seeing her being mistreated by Dumbo, on the other hand, was actually pretty painful to watch.   No one messes with my plaything and gets away with it!

I came up with a plan, and watched as it slowly unfolded itself into play.  I figure, to get the stranger dog out of the house, I’m going to need him to piss off the people, so when Levi gets snubbed one more time, I’m going to sneak up behind it.  

Alright, here’s my moment.  There goes Levi, looking all pathetic, and trying to cuddle up to the new guy… oh, and there’s the snub.  Did he just bite at her? Oh no. No no no, that won’t do at all.  As soon as Levi scooted out of the way, I took my first claw and swiped it across Brutus’ butt.  It worked even better than I’d imagined! He was totally taken by surprise and took off into the Peoples’ room… and then managed to knock his fast ass into the ‘mom’, making her spill her drink! Oh, this is excellent.  I wish you could see this!

‘Mom’ told ‘Dad’ to get rid of the strange beast, and made his people take him outside by the collar!  Levi, slightly recovered from her disparaging moment, had her nosed pressed to the window, waiting in anticipation to see whether or not the mystery beast would come back… but when Levi lost interest and left her place, I moseyed over to the window.

I jumped onto the sill and wrapped my tail around my legs.  I am Prince Milo, after all.

I looked out the window to the spy who bored me, and I said… “et tu, Brute? Shove it up your derriere.”

No one messes with my play thing and gets away with it.

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"Et tu, Brute?"


Merci beaucoup, mon amies.  Tu et tres magnifique!