Our washing machine broke, so logically I thought, Hey, I'll go to the laundromat and clean my clothes. I'll be able to get more wash done there than I ever do at home, and it really shouldn't be all that expensive because I'll bring my own laundry detergent. Success!
No. I can't even believe all the capitalist bullshit that there is at the laundromat. I'm going to spell it out for you, because you people need to know this, too, so that you're forewarned. THEY ARE RIPPING PEOPLE OFF!
Firstly, I need you all to know that I went to the laundromat a prepared little girl. I purchased a roll of quarters from the bank before I went over, thinking I'd be ready and there'd be no surprises, ya know? I'd get there, put all my clothes into a few different machines, and pop my little quarters in the machines and let them be on their merry way.
No. Of course not. It couldn't POSSIBLY be that simple, could it? No. I showed up and heaved my gigantic-ass laundry basket out of my car and into the building and stuff a load into one of the washers. I pour my detergent into the machine and look to the front to load my quarters when I notice there is NO SPOT TO PUT IN CHANGE.
What they want you to do at the lovely Rub-A-Dub Laundromat is to PURCHASE A FUCKING PLASTIC DEBIT CARD TYPE THING for three dollars out of a machine to then load with money to put in the washers and dryers. They don't tell you that the machine only accepts five dollar bills and that you can't get the money off of it once you've put it on unless you find a (non-existent) manager or put your card in an envelope and drop it down a mail slot so they can "send you a check" in the mail.
Yeah, okay. I really believe that you're going to send me my $5.95 check. Santa's coming to vacation with me, too.
I look and there is a digitized sign and slot that tells me how much it's going to cost me to do this goddamn load:
Who the hell decided that names on the washers and dryers were a good idea. There could be numbers, there could be letters, there could be color-coded sections. Those plastic little name tags that are tagged onto the machines are probably why the prices are jacked up. Even better was that I must have been in the couples section, where fate and serendipity and whatever-the-hell-else there is out there could rub my singularity down my throat once more, as if I didn't get it enough in life. Yoko and John were together, and were next to Ken and ____ (which I could only assume was Barbie, but the name tag was popped off) and Sonny and Cher.
Good Friggin' God.
Almost 7 FRIGGIN DOLLARS to wash my clothes? Per Load!
Oh no. Since that was the case, I shoved every single piece of clothing that I brought with me into a 55-gallon washing machine and figured I was only gonna pay almost-seven-dollars once, and I was gonna get the most out of it, and they can go fuck themselves with their seven dollars.
Oh no. Since that was the case, I shoved every single piece of clothing that I brought with me into a 55-gallon washing machine and figured I was only gonna pay almost-seven-dollars once, and I was gonna get the most out of it, and they can go fuck themselves with their seven dollars.
Even better was that they all had names. The machines had NAMES. My dryer was....
| Yoko |
| Of course, Yoko had to be near John. Of course. |
I can't believe it.
if i lived closer i'd totes let you do laundry at my place
ReplyDeletethey don't want you to drink at the laundrymat, either. which is why you gotta brazenly sip your beer from your coffee travel mug to get through that shit.
ReplyDelete@Alyssa That's because you're full of the awesome (like me).
ReplyDelete@Marian, I can't even believe I didn't think of that. That will be "Laundromat, part deux" for sure.
oh no, I can't believe it either!
ReplyDeleteOmg ... That's expensive! When did 1 become 7! That's 7x inflation. I wonder what students do now.
ReplyDeleteI learned this lesson the hard way as well. Without the stupid debit card rip off though, what's up with that? But yeah, to do 3 loads of laundry, wash and dry it cost me almost 20 bucks.
ReplyDeleteRidiculous.