Laundry Rant, Part Deux

Peeps, I had to hit the Laundromat again today, and rather go to the place that made me want to jam needles in my eye, I opted for driving a little further in the opposite direction and headed to scope out a different laundromat called U-Wash Laundromat, circa 1976.

(Not as creative as Rub-A-Dub Laundromat, but my twenty-dollars-a-load probably went to buy the goddamn Sonny and Cher nameplates, and I wasn’t looking to invest in the new one for Barbie.)

First, the laundromat wasn’t where I thought it was supposed to be, so I ended up driving away from it at first… I know what you’re thinking, that’s my fault and yeah you’re right.  However, this wouldn’t be a rant if I blamed myself for something right? Right.  When I found it, I hopped out of the Elantra and meandered my way inside, trying to scope the place out.  I wasn’t going to make the same mistake of going unprepared.   Immediately I knew that it was not going to be the same experience I had at the Millionaire’s Laundromat.

First of all, there were no people speaking in Spanish (presumably about me) and looking over their shoulder.  I always think people speaking a different language in front of me are speaking about me, especially when I go get my eyebrowns waxed at the mall by the Vietnamese women at the nail salon – they ALWAYS seem to be talking about me.

The only person who happened to be using the laundromat facilities was an older gentleman wearing an ill-fitted Giants’ tee shirt. Seeing him, I knew I’d be able to take him if things got a little rowdy.  I walked in and searched to see if I had to buy the damn card here, too, but alas, they rely on good old American quarters.  Too bad I sold mine back to the damn bank after looking like a fool earlier in the week.


Secondly, none of the machines had name tags!  I was in a normal laundromat.  Success.


However, there was this one machine that looked like a toilet… it even had water pooled inside of it and looked like it had a toilet seat.  I was grossed out.




Thankfully, doing laundry at this place was MUCH cheaper than doing it over at the Millionaire's Club -- it only cost me about 5 bucks to do my load of laundry.  They weren't TOO bright, though, because I found a sign that said this:





What in God's name did they sell in that machine if it wasn't soap?