Just a taste.

Hey Peeps.

So much has been going down with me in the last few weeks that I haven’t really had time to post something with merit to the Awesome Blog.  I’d apologize for inconveniencing you all with my lack of attention, but I don’t necessarily think that anyone actually cares about reading this drivel… More likely is accidental and/or pity clicks (unless Biffle is reading this, because she says she checks it everyday… hey Biff!).  My life has gotten so out of control that I don’t even have time to write at home – I’m secretly writing this from the drive thru.  Shhh.

There are so many things to tell you all, but I will try to reel myself in and keep to the highlights.

As per my last post, those of you that follow along with the life of Sunshine will know that her chariot had ceased to pull her (less) fat ass along anymore.  It dropped me off at my job and decided it was done being a productive member of society.  We took Squirt to the doctor (which was a shit show all its own) and they have rendered him useless.  Actually, I think the mechanic’s exact words were ‘this car is unsafe, and I don’t recommend anyone driving it.’  I translated that to mean “death trap”, laughed a little and said “Duh, tell me something I don’t know, buddy.”

He did.  What I didn’t know is that the VW dealer couldn’t figure out why the car wouldn’t start, but he knew that it would cost around two thousand dollars to fix.

:::blank stare:::

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO.

NO NO NO NO NO.

That was a good laugh, I have to admit.  The mechanic must moonlight as a comedian because Oh. My. God. What a joke.

Anywho, so, the father and I went out looking for used cars… We didn’t really have a whole lot of time to be picky and choosy about what we wanted.  We only had a few specifications for the ‘new’ car…

1.)   Must be cheap.
2.)   Must run (without smoke or screeching).
3.)   Must have air conditioning.

That’s it.  However, we probably should have been a bit more specific with our wants because later in the day one dealer really threw us both for a loop.

Car Dealer:  Hey folks, how we doin’?
Dad:   Hey bud, how are ya?
::shakes hands::
Car Dealer: What are you guys looking for?  Maybe I can help point you in the right direction.

(Here is where I’d like to insert my description of the car dealer.  I’m sure in another life he was fantastic, smart, witty, sharp, and non-creepy man.  However, it did not carry over to this life because he was the stereotypical used car dealer… minus the cheesy suit.  The suit might have made him look less creepy.  He wore ripped shorts and a fake-polo with stains on it.  His hair was out of control and his hands were greasy in the same way that little kids’ hands are greasy.  Not good.)

Dad:  We’re looking for a small, affordable car… preferably with low miles… something good on gas.
Car Dealer:  Well, you’re going to pay through the nose on civics and focus’, I’ll tell ya that right now.  What you need is a Chevy Cavalier, or an Impala.
Dad:  Oh, really? Okay, well do you have any that you can show us?
Car Dealer:  I don’t have any in now, but should have some in on Monday.
Dad: We kind of have a time deadline, ya know?
Car Dealer:  Oooook…. Did you want something safe?

…and it’s time to leave.

The man gave my dad his card and as soon as we got into the car, dad handed me the card and said “here, you can pick your teeth with this because we’re never coming here again.”

Best. Ever.


(More about my goings on will be up soon... but in the mean time, fill me in on what you guys are doing. <3)