Two of my friends and I met up for dinner last night, and afterwards we decided to have a night on the town!!
Now, I know what you're thinking... dancing, drinks, wine'n'dine, shmoozing, rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous, that is the kind of glamorous lady I portray...
... but you'd be wrong.
Last night, I went to Bingo.
(No jokes.)
Bingo is a great time. I, myself, have been known to attend bingo a time or two in the past, but for reasons unknown, I'd strayed away. It's cheap, relatively simple and something different from the usual movies or bowling, but if you're not used to it, you could find yourself in "culture shock". You see, normal as these people might be by day, when the magic bingo hour falls upon them, the locals become wild, ruthless, and savage.
The hall was packed; seats were hard to come by, especially three next to each other. None of the regulars, who are already in their *zone* appreciate being bothered. They will not move to help you find a seat. They will not adjust their things to give you more space. However, we managed to make it work. (Lisa and I got two seats together, but Dani had to try and squeeze past a large man (who had long hair like a woman), whose stomach hung over the table, by taking a running leap!)
The lady that I sat next to was not a pleasant woman. She had all her boards and blotters set out in front of her, but she had more than enough room, so I put my stuff down next to her to get situated. About half way through the game she turns to me and says, "Don't move over any closer, baby". I turned to look at her, held my tongue, and said, "Uh.. oh... okay" because I didn't want to turn into a savage like the rest of them.
Later on, though, this lady had her hand resting over MY boards, to the point where I had to dot around her hand! Well, let me tell you, I got the last laugh* on that one because I dotted her hand... OH YES, I DID. (And Dani was there to protect me)
Here is where the epidemic comes in.
The not-nice-lady sitting next to me had some interesting artifacts placed in front of her that I didn't notice when I sat down...
The hall was packed; seats were hard to come by, especially three next to each other. None of the regulars, who are already in their *zone* appreciate being bothered. They will not move to help you find a seat. They will not adjust their things to give you more space. However, we managed to make it work. (Lisa and I got two seats together, but Dani had to try and squeeze past a large man (who had long hair like a woman), whose stomach hung over the table, by taking a running leap!)
The lady that I sat next to was not a pleasant woman. She had all her boards and blotters set out in front of her, but she had more than enough room, so I put my stuff down next to her to get situated. About half way through the game she turns to me and says, "Don't move over any closer, baby". I turned to look at her, held my tongue, and said, "Uh.. oh... okay" because I didn't want to turn into a savage like the rest of them.
Later on, though, this lady had her hand resting over MY boards, to the point where I had to dot around her hand! Well, let me tell you, I got the last laugh* on that one because I dotted her hand... OH YES, I DID. (And Dani was there to protect me)
Here is where the epidemic comes in.
The not-nice-lady sitting next to me had some interesting artifacts placed in front of her that I didn't notice when I sat down...
 |
| Elephant Statues |
This isn't the worst of it. The lady (whose mustache rivaled the previously mentioned 'man whose belly hung over the table') on the other side of Dani had full-bodied elephant statues!!!!
 |
| Full-Bodied Elephant Statues = Epidemic |
I know that elephants are supposed to represent knowledge... but what are they gonna do for you at bingo?
*****
*I did get the last laugh... I won (sans elephants) and she didn't!
Bite me, lady.
thanks for the laugh val :) fun times
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