"Undiscovered"

This is my first week back to Indie Ink, and I must say, I am definitely feeling a bit rusty.  Thanks a big bunch to My Plaid Pants, Runaway Sentence, and Alyssagoesbang for dragging my ass back into the swing of things. Without further ado, here goes nothing... 

"Undiscovered"

She was sitting perched on the bed when I found her in our bedroom, holding a plain white envelope, with tears in her eyes.  I wondered what she had in the envelope to make her cry, and realized just a minute too late that I already knew.  Inside that envelope was the story of us; our past, present, and future. 

She looked up at me, and the range of emotions on her face was frightening.  There was shock, pain, sadness, confusion, betrayal, and more that I couldn’t even begin to name.  The glare coming from her eyes was enough to kill.

“Chris,” she started, slowly.

“I know.  I’m sorry,” was all I could think to say.

“That’s all you have to say, is ‘I’m sorry’?”  So much for starting slowly.

“I…”

“What are you sorry for? Are you sorry for the fact that I just found this accidentally?  Are you sorry for the fact that you got caught?  Or are you sorry for breaking my heart?”

I could only stand there as she shoved these rhetorical questions down my throat like poison.  The taste in my mouth made me want to vomit, but how could I explain to her that I was just doing this for us?  I couldn’t.  She wouldn’t ever understand.  She is the girl of my dreams, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and for some reason she likes me, too, but this would ruin us, I just know it.

“I’m sorry, I know I should have told you.  You deserve to know the truth.” 

She just looked at me, looked through me, as if I wasn’t really there anymore.

“Chris, I can’t believe you could keep something this huge from me.  You had a child.”

Yeah, I had a child.  I had a baby, the product of a rape, and an unfortunate reminder of the cretin who invaded my life forever in the span of twenty agonizing minutes.

“Sarah, I just can’t talk about it.  I couldn’t talk about it, even with you.”  I closed my eyes and silently prayed to whatever higher being was out there that she would forgive me and understand. 

You see, since we’d been trying to get pregnant, I told her that I wasn’t able to have children.

I lied. 

*** 

This week for the Indie Ink challenge, I was given “You come across an old envelope from your past. What is inside?” by GUS.  I challenged Billy Flynn with "You're in a funk; how do you get out of it?".  Check out his response *here*.