So then I said...

I don't really have a whole lot to update because nothing exciting is going on in my life (which isn't really far from the usual, Peeps, as you loyal followers already know).  However, in the last few days I've had some great conversations (in person as well as via text) and felt I NEEDED to share them with you.

***
Dad: I'm hungry, but it's Lent. Can't eat meat, it's Friday.
Val:  Why do you follow that stupid rule anyway?
Dad: Valerie, it's not stupid.
Val: Your people aren't going to let me into your Heaven, so I'm not following the rules.
Dad: You're going to Heaven.
Val: They don't let my kind in there.
Dad:  I got you a pass. You're going.

***

L: I want to be part of a drag show.
Val:  You already look like a dude.
L:  I know, but it's different.
Val:  How is it different?
L:  Well, they draw mustaches on you, and side burns.
Val: You. Already. Look. Like. A. Dude.  To be part of a drag show, you'd need to wear a dress.
L: I am not wearing a dress; I want to be a drag KING.
Val:  That's like going to a masquerade ball and not wearing a mask!  Idiot.
L:  You just don't understand.
Val:  No, you just don't understand that I'm right.
L: Right.

***

Val: Um, I just got tipsy with my uncle and my sister at a bar.
Susie: Um, can I just tell you that I spilled the blue lava lamp juice on the floor... BFF's mom is going to kill me.
Val: OMG.
Susie:  I know.
(The next day.)
Susie: BFF and I should become professional carpet cleaners.

***
Missvalsunshine, offending the masses since 1985.