Laters, Baby.

Fifty Shades of Gray.  Ever heard of it? No?  Well, what rock have you been living under, because only a recluse or someone on the run wouldn't have gotten their hands on a copy of this verbose example of fan fiction run amok. 

Honestly, the only reason that I picked up a copy of this book was because everyone, and I mean everyone, that I have talked to in the last three months have ranted and raved about how this book needs to be read.  I finally succumbed to peer pressure and broke down and bought a copy on my Nook.  What I have to say about it is this:  wait for the movie. 

Actually, if you're into erotic fiction, you may want to pick the first book up and help yourself to some fantasy. This book borders on the edge of the line between acceptable fantasy and oh-my-god-my-mother-would-kill-me-if-she-knew-I-owned-this... Well, not my mother.  My mother would be rolling over in her grave trying to get my attention, probably saying something like, "Can you read it to me out loud?" or "There was that one time in college."  (She was a character all her own.)

 I've made it through Fifty Shades of Gray and Fifty Shades Darker, but I had to stop because I had major issues with Ms. Steele's whiny-bitch-attitude.  Everytime I turned the page, there was another scene in which she wondered if he was going to leave her, and while that was a valid question at the beginning of book one, there was no need for it through the end of book two.  I thought that was obvious, but who am I?

The other problem with this is that there were certain times in which I found myself ridiculously turned on by the words on the page, and for me this is a problem.  I am a lesbian, being substantially turned on by a MALE, FICTIONAL character.  I've got friends starting to doubt my sexuality from the comments I've been making.  Heck, *I'm* starting to question my sexuality based on where my errant thoughts have been going this week!  Thank goodness for my girlfriend, Helen, because otherwise I might really be in trouble.  (Helen got a shout out! tee hee hee.)

Anywho. I'm just wondering what you guys out there on the interwebs thought of this series.  Can anyone convince me to bother buying the third on the trilogy?  Is there anything redeeming in Fifty Shades Freed?  I trust you, weblings.  Give me the goods, will ya?!

Laters baby.